I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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