I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
