How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
