i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
