you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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