weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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