no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
