Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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