Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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