i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just threw up on my dentist
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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