I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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