Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
