Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
