I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
