Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
