I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
