My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pants are for mortals
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
