so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize