Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.

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(573): View more from Missouri

she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

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(303): View more from Colorado

No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

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(314): View more from Missouri

the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

1. Thanks. 2. No.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.

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