somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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