were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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