I don't think brook has ever known best
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
