You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
