Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
