holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
