Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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