similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize