hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
