Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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