nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If that was your dad, he is hot
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize