i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
