This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
