I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
