Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
