called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
