im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize