all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
