so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
