Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
