They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize