Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
