I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
