planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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