I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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