so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
