Cold hands, warm shart.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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