CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
