he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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