I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
