I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
