He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
