is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
