Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Still dying that you shit outside
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize