Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
