You're my little dorito
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
