I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
