I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize