honey bunches of taint.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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