shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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