I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
