She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
