Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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