So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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