Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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