Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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