he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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