She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
