So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
