what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
