His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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