I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
