brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's always time for handjobs
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
