We're facebook friends in real life
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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